Friday, December 17, 2010

There is no B in Aspergers or The Disability of Empathy

......So why do people think it's funny to call it Ass Burgers when all that shows is that they can't tell the difference between a B and P sound ? I used to assume that I was the only person that would have to actually say "B" "P" aloud when spelling words that had those letters . It appears that it is a fairly common disability as few people seem to address this issue when Aspergers is mockingly called Ass Burgers .

Like most of the points I make in life, this on the surface appears to be trivial but if you peel the onion....(it might make you cry but it's the only way to find the truth) might find a deeper meaning .

In this case, my meaning is that somethings do not get labeled as disabilities if they are shared by enough people . Let me point out that the current definition of disability is not based on how many people actually share it but how the majority of people able to do some particular thing decide to define it. The popular usage , as are a fair number of words in modern usages , seems to me a misnomer . A so called "able" bodied person is not called disabled just because they are not able to fly but a so called disabled person will be labeled disabled even if they are able to walk but not able to see . My conclusion is that the word itself is a lazy word for lazy brains . Perhaps that wouldn't be an issue for me if the label itself didn't come with so much negative emotional baggage but I have learned that language never travels light . Many words are surrounded with assumptions, misconceptions and bias which intentionally or not. bury their actual meanings . It's how our brains work .

Pronunciation: (dis), [key]
n. Class. Myth.
a god of the underworld. Also called Dis Pater. Cf. Pluto.


a Latin prefix meaning “apart,” “asunder,” “away,” “utterly,” or having a privative, negative, or reversing force (see de-, un -2); used freely, esp. with these latter senses, as an English formative: disability; disaffirm; disbar; disbelief; discontent; dishearten; dislike; disown. Also,di-.

Read more: dis: meaning and definitions —
Nothing in this definition would indicate that if there are a majority on individuals unable to do something that it is no longer a disability .  The specific behavior, that most often comes to mind for me, is the large number of individuals who appear unable/disabled from having any actual ability to feel the pain of others . Oddly, to me, this is attributed to being a disability in persons with autism . I haven't done any scientific studies but most of my observations are that it is most commonly found in persons who have no autism label, though they include both individuals labeled "disabled" and "neurotypical" . 

Although it is true for me that I often don't read minds any better then non-verbal communication, I am hyper aware when my actions or those of others might cause suffering to others and I personally try to avoid causing others pain . Not because I think it the moral thing to do but because it actually physically hurts me when I am around living things that I believe to be in emotional or physical pain . There are many times when I am not able to avoid causing pain because it involves disobeying some of my other rules of living . 

As example.....

I know that my mother would have liked me to be a cheerleader who dressed in cute clothes and had lots of friends . I know my not fitting that image did cause her much pain but....I not only was unable to meet those expectations I was unwilling to sacrifice my own likes and dislikes in order to do so . My values said to me that to remain authentic to the core of who I was out valued my desire for her to be happy . 

As example...

I work with a client who has sensory issues and dislikes having bathes and brushing her teeth . It distresses me to see her suffering but I do it because I believe that those things are important to her physical health and I have found no alternative to achieving that goal though I do try and make it as quick as I can . I won't however shave her legs as her guardian requests because I know that the client does not care if she has hair on her legs . 

Like a robot who is given two contrary instructions, I often feel like my circuit board is oging to melt down .....

I do not want to cause pain, "Do No Harm"
I must look after the health of the client which includes some things that cause harm
I want to follow rules of my employment
many of those rules disregard the first law of "Do no harm"

As many of my pre-aspergers DX therapists said of me....

"you think to much"

(and they said it without a smile of irony and like it was a bad thing) . 

So blather. blather....(Language is not my first means of communication so pardon my mistakes),
my disability appears not to be one of inability to feel others pain but being unable to block it out .  Like persons with auditory processing disorder, (which I also have), I am constantly trying to pull meaning out of a cacophonous random emotional noise . As if this wasn't distracting enough, I then have to try and figure out how to balance my actions based on this unwanted information and my value system and the value system of those who have control over my life and their expectations of my behavior . 

So, thinking to much is not a choice but a necessity in processing and over abundance of information without shorting out my circuit board <-----it's happened and is very messy . 

Where was I going with this.....ah,yes, disability . My disability is only a disability based on the premise that the majority has the right amount of some "ability" . While it is true their functioning may be faster because they don't have to process as much information, being in the majority does not necessarily make it the "perfect" amount . A blind person may gain higher abilities in other senses because the brain has one less sense to process or be distracted by but they are still considered blind . So it is with those who lack some aspies sense of emotional distress, they are no less disabled and their disability, unlike many currently disabled, often leads to massive amount of suffering of all living things . In my opinion , that's a disability we need to spend research money trying to cure, even if it results in prescreening for the offending genetics and eradicating them from the human gnome . Can you imagine such a world ?


1 comment:

  1. ...So why do people think it's funny to call it Ass Burgers...
    This is the kind of thing who pushed me to found Aspia. ( The Nt culture was and will remain pathologicaly conformist. You must fit in the specification or you are throw in the trash... If you don't fit with the stadard you are defective, disabled, etc. And percecuted, abused, beated, etc.